Xuein
by Senket
Summary: It was hard to miss the way Jack looked at Gwen in that moment, the pain in his face- so Ianto didn't. He can't be second-best anymore, and Jack struggles to convince him he isn't. Takes place just after episode 2.4, Meat; Janto


And there she had gone, home with Rhys, her boyfriend- no, her fiancee. Home and understood, and that shaking relationship healed.

He had lost a battle he didn't realize he was fighting. Jack sank into his chair, pushing his palms against his eyes.

It got dark as it always did- darker slower than outside, but Owen had left early and Tosh with him, so the lights were off at 20:00.

He emerged from his office to the dim hub just as the lights flickered on again, Ianto trailing up from the lower archives.

He'd been there for hours, then- since 19:30. What was he doing there? Ianto only sorted those old files when- well, he didn't really know. Not often. Maybe less often than he thought, since he probably used to say he was when he was actually visiting Lisa.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair and over the back of his neck. "Ianto?"

The man paused but didn't look up, pulling his gloves out of his pockets and tugging them on. "Heading home. Did you want a cup of coffee first?"

His expression changed to one of confusion. He skipped over the railing, taking hold of the man's wrist. An arm wrapped around the Welshman's waist.

Ianto struggled against him, gritting his teeth, but Jack would have none of it. The man looked up at him with rebellion in his face, in his frown, and Jack was shaken at the deep red color rimming his eyes. "Ianto?" He asked softly, stroking fingers down his cheek.

"Don't touch me!" He jerked away, keeping his head down- almost stumbling backwards as he cleared from the other man. The Captain grabbed hold of his arm.

"Ianto, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! Do you think I'm stupid?" He shoved Jack in the chest. "Do you think I'm blind? When you asked me out I thought- I thought..." He choked on his words, sinking, his head against Jack's shoulders, shaking fingers curled in the man's beloved coat. "I must be stupid after all."

"What are you talking about?" His voice was soft, confused, frowning down at the top of Ianto's head while he stroked his back.

"Gwen," Ianto answered heavily. He tore away suddenly, turning his back, gripping his hair. "You're in love with Gwen!"

"Ianto-"

"No! I'm sick of being second choice! I can't be a replacement I can't-"

Jack spun him around, catching the back of his head with his hand, crushing their lips together. Ianto struggled- then sagged. Jack felt tears against his cheek. He pulled away slowly, reluctantly, wrapping his arms around the other man, holding him in place. "Ianto, I've been trying to get you longer than I've known Gwen."

"Just a force of habit, then, am I?"

"Ianto."

"Don't lie to me."

"Ianto!"

"No! I can't- I can't do this, Jack!"

"Now you listen to me," he growled, holding the Welshman against him, fingers so tight around his arms he was probably going to bruise him. He couldn't take two rejections in the same day- especially not like this. "I'm not playing with you. I want this, I need this, this is my choice, you think I asked you out for kicks? I thought of you every day I was gone. Every damn day, do you understand? You still love Lisa, don't you? You still love her, but look at this pain you're in! It's not what you think!"

"It never is, is it?!" He shouted back, struggling to get away. "You never tell me anything! What am I supposed to think? Anytime I ask about you, you change the subject, you flirt with anything, you-"

"Do you know why you had to make the first move, Ianto?" He asked in a rough voice, straining to hold back, to not try to shake some sense into him. "Do you know why? If I flirt with everything why you had to offer? Did you ever wonder?"

"Of course I-"

"It's because I wanted you to know I was serious! That I'm not just here because I want to touch you, because I like kissing. I'm here because I want to hold you when you cry because I-"

"Because it hurts when you cry because of me," he finished, defeated, blinking furiously to try and clear his own tears.

Ianto was looking at him with a new expression, dazed and wide-eyed, sliding his thumb along the wet track of his cheek.

"When that idiot put a gun to your head today, I stopped thinking. You were too close, he couldn't have missed- and when he threw you off and fired at your back... if that gun hadn't been empty, I would've torn them all apart with my bare hands, do you understand?"

Blue eyes flickered over his face, fingers sliding down the immortal's cheek, brushing across his lips. "Jack."

They met in the kiss this time, grasping, pulling, holding, gripping. Desperate, feeling.

Jack wrapped his arms around the suited man's shoulders, pressing his cheek against the top of his head. They stood there for ages, Ianto's fingers twisted in Jack's braces.

"It's getting late," Ianto said eventually, pulling away- or trying to, but the Captain would have none of it, tightening his hold.

"Then stay, tonight."

He looked up at the taller man through his lashes, feeling yet vulnerable. "But I've never..."

"No time but the present," he answered easily, and refused to let go.


End file.
